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black coffee reflections home about me & the blog archives contact me book reviews posts comments getting rid of the sitcom mentality as we talk about charleston, confederate flags, & the scotus ruling july 2, 2015 by tim leave a comment i’d like to think that i’m doing my best to not live my life as if it were a sitcom. here’s what i mean. many sitcoms have no memory of prior events but rather every new episode quickly becomes consumed with that show’s plot. i know they only have 22 minutes, and a sitcom’s job is not to inform how anyone lives but rather tb to make money and if possible, entertain for a given time. but sometimes, i’d love for a sitcom to begin with, “wow, wasn’t yesterday crazy?? i’m still thinking about it!” i’d really like to avoid living this way, however, it’s easy to get caught up on in a sitcom way of life by the way we consume our news, relationships and schedules, even the way some of us consume our faith. many times, we are living in reaction to what is front of us. there’s a new crisis, there’s an urgent plot to be resolved and don’t even get be started on the “characters” but the sooner we get through it, the sooner we can get back to “normal life.” it’s good for our hearts and minds to to keep processing, reflecting, moving through what we’re experiencing because the weekend doesn’t actually make things go away. but rather, the weekend provides us an opportunity to reset, breath, recreate, breath, recenter, breath and renew (and yeah, keep breathing). for church-goers it’s the idea of the sabbath. for non-church goers, may they be refreshed by their own choosing but it’s very obvious that scores of us are still processing last week this week. i’m still praying and grieving for what happened in charleston two weeks ago now. and although my social media feeds have not mentioned it yet, i’m losing my mind of all the churches that have been burned. some are predominantly black churches being arsoned, some are not. what is going on as i’m a bit cynical towards coincidence. then there’s the confederate flag issue, which i have a lot of thoughts about but unsure if i’ll post them. again, really trying to avoid that sitcom mentality trap. and certainly this week i’ve been spending a lot of time thinking, reading up, discussing, and corresponding with friends and new friends on the scotus decision legalizing same-sex marriage. there are so many streams to this conversation that saying anything potentially leaves you insensitive to a host of other legitimate questions and concerns. at this point in our cultural conversation, i think we all know the complexity of this and so i appeal to the reader to do their share of discernment of what i’m saying and not saying. for those of us who have been talking about same-sex marriage, we knew some version of this day was inevitable. i for one, do not want anyone to be discriminated against and if i may, i do not want to be discriminated against either. further i do not want to live in a christian theocracy, but i do not want my religious liberties violated. i want all my friends, whether they be straight, gay, figuring it out, to live happy, fulfilling, peace and joy-filled lives. i wish this for my non-friends too. this is part of the imagio-dei (the biblical understanding of the dignity and personhood god gives everyone). ultimately, i believe our identity and meaning is found in the christian vision of god who lovingly created us and invites us to live full lives of redemption. and there’s a lot for us to say about that. it should be also noted some of us within the church have different understandings and hermeneutics concerning our holy scriptures. there are also many outside the church that do not see the bible as a governing voice in their lives and believe it should not be a predominant factor in the law-making in our society. as a believer of free-will, religious liberty (which includes the right to hold, limit or choose to have religion or no religion), i get that, and respect such convictions as i hope mine will be respected as well. so where does that leave us? unresolved to say the least. there are so many conversations that need to be had these days ranging from public discourse to to family kitchen table and various in-house conversations. but this is not a sitcom and we’re not characters or actors or pseudo-reality tv types, may we cease the objectifying and caricaturizing of one another. there’s too much hurt, there’s a lot to process and may our words and actions aim more towards bringing healing, unity, and to strengthen the other versus resolving the “episode” in order to create another to be consumed. — p.s. – i’m undecided how much on all this i will actually blog as context on social media is difficult to capture. i blog in hopes of contributing something helpful to some, and based on the encouragement of some, i’ve found fulfillment in this. but i also fear that i might contribute to the noise and even worse, the hurt. so i’m choosing my next steps on social media as wisely as i can. and from what i can tell from either the chosen silence of some or the closing of social media accounts, i’m not alone in this. for those remaining active online, regardless of position/conviction, may we remember that social media gives us all a “pulpit” and as the weeks goes on, may we use all our outlets (social media and face to face interactions) to go beyond cathartic expression and try to better all that is going on around us. feel free to connect by email or facebook message or phone. and i am always up for coffee. grace and peace, tim filed under: reflective reflecting on father’s day 2015 june 23, 2015 by tim leave a comment father’s day 2015 – feels like a lot going on. on my side, it was the first one with our newest and fourth child, baby bri. four kids wasn’t exactly the plan, but brianna is making the case that it should have always been. she’s a really sweet kid, full of smiles and giggles, loves the attention, and we think she’s going to be a lot of fun. how are things with four little kids? well, it’s like this – we couldn’t get a great picture with all 4 of them … and me. for some, father’s day is amazing. for some this is their first one and so a big congratulations to them – i hope you enjoy many more. i consider my first father’s day to be a very significant day of my life, a very spiritual one, and was grateful to have spent it with our son and my own dad. but beyond the “firsts,” the great pictures, memories, funny stories, there is a whole lot of complexity. as with all family relationships, the father-figure is challenging, and while it can bring great joy and love, it can also bring tension and even great pain. every mother, father, spouse, child, sibling, and every family relationship fits and moves across this scale of beauty/love and tension/pain. as with every holiday, observance, mother’s day and father’s day, these are challenging days. probably like you, i think of my friends who have estranged relationships with their dads and families. i think of the dads who have passed on from this life and the children who miss him dearly. i think of young fathers going through painful times, i think of fathers who have had to bury their sons way too soon. i think of a dear friend of mine who would have celebrated his birthday and father’s day together and i still mourn his passing. i also think of [read more…] filed under: reflective “why do some never grieve with us?” reflecting on the #charlestonshooting, #charlestontragedy june 19, 2015 by tim 1 comment how do we respond to the tragedy in charleston, south carolina that left nine dead after a shooter entered the emanuel african methodist episcopal church during a bible study? how do we respond? maybe like me, you’ve been walking around with heavy heart from upon hearing of the news, maybe you find yourself easily agitated when it’s discussed on television, online, or in person. for me, i find myself an

URL analysis for blackcoffeereflections.com

http://blackcoffeereflections.com/contact-me/
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http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/06/19/why-do-some-never-grieve-with-us-reflecting-on-the-charlestonshooting-charlestontragedy/
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2014/04/30/post-easter-reflection-looking-back-on-this-years-lent/#comment-1300627
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http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/06/23/reflecting-on-fathers-day-2015/#respond
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/04/28/recapping-last-week-q-conference-teaching-at-gordon-nepal-and-baltimore/
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/06/15/for-fathers-day-consider-fatherfactor-i-have-a-chapter-in-it-along-with-people-you-may-have-actually-heard-of/#more-6016
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/page/101/
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/04/17/the-aaron-hernandez-situation-a-failure-of-community/#comments
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/06/19/why-do-some-never-grieve-with-us-reflecting-on-the-charlestonshooting-charlestontragedy/#more-6021
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/05/14/star-wars-day-and-the-national-day-of-prayer/
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2014/04/30/post-easter-reflection-looking-back-on-this-years-lent/#comment-1298738
http://blackcoffeereflections.com/2015/05/24/one-church-sunday-logistically-impractical-is-gods-fertile-ground/

Whois Information

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Domain Name: BLACKCOFFEEREFLECTIONS.COM
Registry Domain ID: 1501027536_DOMAIN_COM-VRSN
Registrar WHOIS Server: whois.1and1.com
Registrar URL: http://registrar.1and1.info
Updated Date: 2018-06-25T07:49:54Z
Creation Date: 2008-06-24T19:03:46Z
Registry Expiry Date: 2019-06-24T19:03:46Z
Registrar: 1&1 Internet SE
Registrar IANA ID: 83
Registrar Abuse Contact Email: [email protected]
Registrar Abuse Contact Phone: +1.6105601459
Domain Status: clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited
Name Server: NS1081.UI-DNS.BIZ
Name Server: NS1081.UI-DNS.COM
Name Server: NS1081.UI-DNS.DE
Name Server: NS1081.UI-DNS.ORG
DNSSEC: unsigned
URL of the ICANN Whois Inaccuracy Complaint Form: https://www.icann.org/wicf/
>>> Last update of whois database: 2018-08-29T11:27:28Z <<<

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  REGISTRAR 1&1 Internet SE

SERVERS

  SERVER com.whois-servers.net

  ARGS domain =blackcoffeereflections.com

  PORT 43

  TYPE domain

DOMAIN

  NAME blackcoffeereflections.com

  CHANGED 2018-06-25

  CREATED 2008-06-24

STATUS
clientTransferProhibited https://icann.org/epp#clientTransferProhibited

NSERVER

  NS1081.UI-DNS.BIZ 217.160.81.81

  NS1081.UI-DNS.COM 217.160.82.81

  NS1081.UI-DNS.DE 217.160.80.81

  NS1081.UI-DNS.ORG 217.160.83.81

  REGISTERED yes

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